Talk about scaring off a girl!
But don't worry, if you really like this guy, there are a bunch of tricks you can use to make the relationship work. And they aren't even that complicated! ;)
Nr. 1 the d-d-d-date
From my experience, nerdy guys tend to be introverted and shy around other people, so they would probably prefer more quiet places to go to on an date, for example a more unknown café, a tea-house or maybe just a stroll around the park. Places packed full of people like nightclubs or malls wouldn't possibly pop up in their heads. And the cinema, well.. it's o.k., but they'll probably throw in the argument, that it's more comfortable to watch a movie at home.
Now if you want to surprise him with a date of his taste, you'll probably have to do some research first. Try to look for comic-book stores, game stores, game arcades, paintball or laser-tag that organize special events. Every now and then they would have something that's fun to do as a couple. ;)
If he happens to be interested in something in particular, like for example trains or some sort of sea-creature or roman history (why not?) then a dedicated museum or zoo/aquarium would be the better option. In order to plan a special date, you have to know what he's interested in. And don't forget to add the special ingredient: you looking cute! ;)
Nr. 2 separated-linked activities
In a relationship it is important to spend time together but also for each of you to have some time to her/himself. A more introverted person, like an otaku usually is, needs especially more private time for his hobbies. Even if it annoys you, that he prefers playing a game or watching some cartoons instead of going shopping or spending the whole day with you, you have to learn to put up with it. Because he would probably give up on the things he likes for you, but this would only make him feel incomplete and out of place and would only harm him and thus the relationship.
So try to have a balanced schedule and decide together when each of you does his own thing. You could also plan a trip to the city when each of you goes to their own points of interest (you could go to the accessories-store while he looks for some new console-games) and then meet up and go together to a restaurant or coffee shop.
Nr. 3 prior engagements ask for prior phone-calls
As geeky guys tend to lose track of times when they are preoccupied with their hobbies, it would be best to take them back to reality every now and then. Quick phone calls can help a lot in this situations. If you have planed to meet up Saturday in the afternoon, don't forget to call an hour in advance of your meeting and make sure he isn't too deep in his WOW-game and has completely forgotten about the date. 'Cause it could happen!
A short phone-call can easily solve this problem and save you significant minutes of waiting.
Nr. 4 small gifts go a long way
Every now and then it's nice to freshen up the relationship with small attentions, loving gestures and symbolic gifts.
If it's your three-weeks-anniversary or something similar you might want to make/buy something double so you can both share that memory (like two matching key-chains or bracelets or USB-stiks). But if you're only looking for some small gift for your geeky boy, then the best place to search would be online. ;) You'll definitely find something that pictures one of his favorite characters with just a few clicks. Because the internet is almighty! (especially when it comes down to an otaku's preferences) :P
Personally, whenever I have a big (and almost always meaningless) fight with my BF, I return home with a Kinder-Surprise-chocolate-egg just to say I'm sorry for overreacting. And it works really well. Because chocolate + small surprise = the perfect reconciliation gift. :D
Nr. 5 what to do if he's turning into one of those mole-people?
Lately he's been so focused on a new game, that he closed the shutters, the curtains and locked himself up in his dark room, staring at his computer the whole day/night/nobody can say because it's too dark?!? Well, in this extreme situation, when unwashed dishes, dirty clothes and what-nots are getting piled up in the DARK-ROOM-OF-NERDYNESS you'll have to make a move before it's too late!
The first step would be to try and reestablish the day-and-night-rhythm. In this case something like a plant would do the trick. Just put one green, living thing on the windowsill in his room and tell him to let enough sunlight in every day so it doesn't die. If he cares enough for you and for his eyes, he'll understand that natural light is important and healthy and will open the shutters and curtains and thus get reconnected to the outside world. ;)
What to do about the mess, that unmistakeably has piled up, you can read in the next paragraph.
Nr. 6 means to counter a messy person
When it comes to overfilled garbage-cans, dusty corners, dirty dishes, dirty laundry lying allover the place, most guys tend to wear those miraculous sight-protection-goggles that horses wear, thus are UNABLE TO SEE IT ALL until the moment it's so obvious, that it would be a huge action to clean everything up, therefore things will forever be left as they are: a huge mess. >_<
In order to counter such an extreme situation, preparations must be made in advance. One way to approach this is to designate places for all the stuff that usually pile up randomly everywhere. For example there must be a bag for dirty laundry, a shelf for books, a shelf for games, pens and crayons should have a designated drawer, dishes should have their place in the kitchen, next to the sink and preferably washed or in the dishwasher if there is one, etc. Try discussing with him what would be the best place for every one of those things and decide together. And in case he keeps forgetting where what is, mark them with labels or pictures or drawings. In the worst case scenario, use PINK paint to draw arrows and marking on the walls. ;) He probably won't forget ever again after this move. :D
Nr. 7 well, he likes games
He'll probably be interested in any type of game, so this would help you lure him out of his den and spend more time together. Try to organize a boardgames-evening with a few friends, or try going to a bar to play cards or play badminton or table-tennis outside. Sometimes in parks there are this oversized chess games that can be really fun! Thing of games you liked to play as a child, be original and try new stuff out! you never know when you stumble across a thing you have in common. And a bit of challenge in a relationship can keep it fresh and make it grow.
Nr. 8 the magic word: bento
Remember this one, cause it's an ace up every girl's sleeve!
Bento is the Japanese word for packed lunch. Normally it contains food that has been cooked early in the morning or the day before and lovingly arranged in a lunchbox. It normally contains rice, meat or omelet and vegetables, but you can also put in some pasta or sandwiches. The important thing is that the content are prepared with love and care.
Just prepare it for him every now and then and tell him on the mornings, when he's expecting to have a particularly stressful day at school/college/work "don't forget your bento!". This will definitely give you a lot of credit-points! ;)
For more information on this topic, you can watch the series "The Big Bang Theory" or the anime "Genshiken".
I hope this was useful to you and I would like to know if there are also other things that you tried or know of being useful in a relationship with a geeky guy. ^_^
Lots of hugs, A.
No comments:
Post a Comment